It’s that time of the year when high school seniors and their parents are on edge and checking their mailboxes daily for acceptance letters. The stress of filling out applications, writing essays, taking the ACT/SAT tests is over and now comes the waiting period. I could write a book about this topic as I have so many stories and to be honest, I feel quite strongly about the whole process …

Going through this with twins was challenging. My kids are very different, so I saw things from two perspectives.

My son was a good student, had good grades which came fairly easy for him, had a solid ACT test score and was a good athlete. His resume was limited to primarily playing baseball. He had no job experience, no philanthropy work and no clubs or special awards. But he had good numbers.

My daughter, Lucy had a different story. She struggled academically in high school and it wasn’t until the end of her freshman year that she was diagnosed with ADHD. I cannot tell you the guilt I felt when the doctor told us. We were both in tears. For her, it was relief that there was a problem and we could work to correct it. For me, I felt terrible l that I accused her of not studying properly or working hard enough. With the help of medication, things became more manageable for her but certainly never easy. She had a below average GPA and an average SAT score. However, Lucy’s resume was impressive. She was an accomplished equestrian, winning a national title her sophomore year and finishing in the top 8 in Nor Cal her senior year. She traveled with People to People for two weeks in Europe at the age of 12. She went on four missions trips with Sierra Service Project and was an active member of her church. She was in National Charity League for six years, had a job at Abercrombie during high school. And even started her own video production business.

I have always said it you put 20 teenagers in a room and interviewed them for a job, Lucy would get hired every time. She is an amazing, caring, smart, witty person. She can look you in the eye and carry a conversation. Surely that had to count for something in the college admissions process.

My kids each applied to about 10 schools. For my son, it was about being indecisive. For Lucy, it was about finding a school that would accept her. Soon the letters started arriving at our house.

John would open his and the first word would be “Congratulations” followed by “we would like to offer you merit scholarship money.” Lucy’s letters would start with “Thank you but this year has been very competitive and we regret that we cannot offer you admission at this time.” It was heartbreaking as a parent. Lucy put on a strong front and tried to remain upbeat.

I had insisted that she apply to at least one school that I knew took all applicants. She had no interest in this school but I felt she needed one sure thing, just to boost her confidence. The day that letter came, she took it upstairs to open it in her room. A little while later, she came downstairs crying. I asked what was wrong and she said, “I got in. I never thought anyone would take me.”

Wow…what is wrong with this picture?   How is it that colleges all over the country inundate you with their brochures inviting you to apply, giving you hope and then they take great pride in sending out all their rejection letters so that next year, they can publish their new rate of admission is now only 15%. They love to brag about how many applicants they reject. Isn’t that just great! Who cares what they are doing to high school students? After all – it’s only a numbers game.

One of Lucy’s dream schools was USF. For those of you who know my daughter, you understand why. Lucy is such a kind soul, a modern day hippie. She wants to change the world and USF seemed like the perfect fit. John had also applied there. We never saw it as a match for him but he could live in the city and that appealed to him. Their letters arrived on the same day. John opened his and it started with “Congratulations! We would like to offer you $20,000 a year in merit scholarship money.” Lucy opened hers with, “Thank you … but we cannot offer you admission …” To be honest, this was by far the hardest one. She cried as she felt her brother didn’t even want to go there, yet they had accepted him and offered him all this money. They didn’t even consider her.

Not one to give up easily, Lucy took a last shot at USF. She called the admissions office to request an in-person interview. She felt strongly that if she could meet face to face with someone, they would see her value as a student. She was denied.

And the wait continued …

At the very last minute, Lucy asked if I would spend another $100 for her to apply to the University of Colorado Boulder. She had been talking to several people who went there and thought it could be the right fit. I didn’t care about the money (You do the math – about $100 per school to apply. My kids each applied to 10 schools! What was one more?) I cared about more heartache. It was definitely a long shot at this point in the game. So on the very last day Boulder would accept an application, Lucy sent hers in.

Her letter from Boulder arrived in late February. She had been accepted!! This was a day of celebration as she had persevered and she had accomplished her goal. We had never even stepped foot on the campus but she was certain this was the place for her.

We flew to Boulder in early March and from the minute our plane landed, Lucy felt at home. While I was happy for her, I had some reservations. This is a state university and a very large school with 30,000+ students. Not to mention, it is very expensive for out of state students. Before our tour, Lucy begged me not to ask why it was so expensive. She didn’t want me to embarrass her. (I did tell her that every parent in the room probably wanted to ask that question.) During the presentation, they emphasized how they were one of the few universities in the country that actually read their applicants’ essays and resumes. I knew that was exactly why we were there. They had taken the time to look at Lucy as a whole person and not a GPA or test score.

So on March 9, 2015, we paid our deposit in person at the bursar office and Lucy signed her letter of intent. She said she was never more sure of anything in her life!!! The journey was over. Or at least the first leg of it!

The last semester of high school should be an enjoyable one but for Lucy, she was struggling in Physics. (And she wasn’t alone!!) This particular teacher had a long reputation for torturing his students and not really “teaching.” The good news was that many 4.0 students were getting C’s so Lucy’s D wasn’t so demoralizing. The bad news was that she needed that science credit to fulfill the requirements for her admission to Boulder. She was doing everything she could – going to tutoring every week, going in at lunch for extra help. She was panicked. What if Boulder pulled her admission?

Lucy being Lucy, she took it upon herself and called the Admissions office at Boulder. She spoke with an advisor and explained her situation. What would happen if she finished with a D in Physics?

His response to her was priceless …

“Lucy, what is your GPA? Do you think that we admitted you for your GPA? We admitted you for the person you are and for what you bring to our community. If you were a science major with a 4.0 GPA getting a D in Physics, that could be a problem. But you are not. We want you to do everything you can to get that up to a C, but if you don’t, you are still coming to Boulder. We want you here.”

Can you imagine how this phone call made my daughter feel? Can you imagine what this did for her self-confidence and self-esteem? Can you imagine what it would be like if all teachers / educators looked at their students in this way? What a difference this could make. Can you imagine if colleges all over the country stopped labeling students by grades and test scores alone? Can you imagine?

That is when I knew. This is the place for her. This is worth the money. This is her calling and there was no looking back!!

She just finished her first semester and she earned the highest GPA of her life. Her grades were better than any semester in high school! She was hired at the bookstore as a temp over the break. They hired 120 temps for the second semester rush. They only keep 20 students on as permanent employees. Lucy was offered one of those spots today. And I was right – she would get hired every time.