I haven’t written on my blog in many weeks.  I have been buried with buying a new house, staging and selling our old house, closing two other escrows, listing two new homes, packing, moving to the Hooper Farm (which is a major fixer upper), unpacking, cleaning, dealing with my kids being home… It has been a whirlwind and it feels like my feet never touch the ground.  I have been in survival mode. I am stretched thin and my plate is full. I am overwhelmed.

This morning I woke up realizing that Lucy leaves on her mission trip today.  She will be gone for 10 weeks.  We have all been so busy that we haven’t paid much attention to the importance of her journey.

Lucy is off to work with Sierra Service Project (SSP) and will be at a site in Smith Creek, CA that is located on the Oregon border.  She has gone to SSP for one week as a camper with her church youth group for the past four summers.  The first year she went to an Indian reservation and slept under the stars every night.  It was truly life changing for her.  The next two years, she went to South Central LA and stayed at a church in Compton.  Last summer, she went to Smith Creek and was the oldest camper there.  Her dream was to become a SSP counselor.

When she came upstairs this morning, I could sense she was nervous.  She is giving up the rest of her summer to sleep on an air mattress in a large room with people she has never met and work very long days where showers are a luxury.  There are no dorms.  There is no privacy.  There is no air conditioning.  This is not “camp.”

She was quiet on our drive to Sacramento, which is where the journey begins for 10 days of training before each team goes to their designated site.  When we arrived, most of the staff members were already there, already checked in, and I could see the stress and tension on Lucy’s face.  There were no parents in sight, so I asked her if she wanted me to stay in the car.  I didn’t want to embarrass her but I also knew she needed moral support.  I certainly understood why she felt on edge and uncomfortable.  There are very few people who could do what she is doing.  I couldn’t do it now and I couldn’t do it when I was 19.  I need my space, my routine, my bed, my shower, my meals.

I helped carry her things into the room they will all share for the next 10 days.  The first icebreaker event had already started and at SSP, they are high energy all the time.  For those of you who know Lucy – she is one who needs her quiet down time.  She looked at me and whispered, “It is 10 weeks.”

Not many young adults would give up their summers to work 75-80 hours a week without any sugar, soda, treats, TV, social media or even the freedom to sleep in.

I hugged her tight and said goodbye.   I could see in her eyes that she was unsure.  The long drive home gave me time to think and really ponder what would make her want to do this. My heart ached.  Perhaps it was more about me feeling disappointed in my own self that I could never be so open, flexible or give back in such a big way.  Mix that with my ultimate sense of pride in knowing that my daughter is making a real difference in the lives of those who live in Smith Creek and the campers who come weekly from churches all over the West Coast.

I sent her a simple text when I got home:   “I love you.”

Her response:  “I am exactly where I need to be.”

For more information on Sierra Service Project, visit their website at Sierra Service Project: Safe & Challenging Youth Service Projects 

sierraserviceproject.org